Get the wedges away from me — the only shoes I want to wear this spring are children’s dress shoes. Yes, the ones you see at Payless, et al during Easter season.
Unfortunately, this is not a goal I can achieve. I did not appropriately revel in wearing these chunky, low-heeled, white Mary Janes when I was an actual child. Now, it is too late for me and my size 9s. Kids’ shoes simply will not fit, no matter how much I want to wear them.
But if you have been blessed with feet that fit a women’s size 8-ish or below, you can achieve my dream for me. (And, please, do not suggest that I wear “adult versions” of these shoes. They are not the same.)